The summer movie season isn’t yet upon us, which probably explains why there’s so little worth seeing at the local MegaCinePlex. In the meantime, here’s Joe’s shorthand take on some of the flicks currently begging for your eight bucks:
“Where the Heart Is” – Synopsis: Chick flick. Saving Grace: 2 hours of Natalie Portman in tight sweaters and miniskirts. Rating:
“Where the Money Is” – Synopsis: See Paul Newman play a man his own age. Pros: Will probably get extra box-office from confused Portman fans. Cons: See synopsis. Rating:
“Rules of Engagement” – Synopsis: Soldiers kill people for reason other than U.S. financial benefit. Repercussions follow. Pros: Graphic violence. Cons: Everything else. Rating:
“28 Days” – Synopsis: Sandra Bullock pushes her acting talent 12 steps past its limit. Pros: Steve Buscemi. Cons: Sandra Bullock. Rating:
“Keeping the Faith” – Synopsis: Two hours of jokes about Jews and Catholics. Pros: Ben Stiller. Cons: Tired premise. Rating:
“American Psycho” – Synopsis: White-collar killer runs amock. Saving Grace: Good to see Christian Bale finally move on after “Newsies.” Rating:
“Ready To Rumble” – Synopsis: A wrestling film even wrestling fans didn’t like. Pros: David Arquette. Cons: Even worse than the WWF. Rating:
“Erin Brockovich” – Synopsis: Julia Roberts saves world, gets guy. Pros: Watchable in spite of Roberts. Cons: Lots of lawyers. Rating: